And so she taught me a new concept.

"Ta tae mi"
"Ta tae mi. .. means?"
"Means: publicly stated intention."

And another.

"Hon ne - that means then - actual intention"
"Yes, it like actual intention"

Tomoko looks across the table at me, smiles, looks at me through a glistening glass of grapefruit Chu-hi that she has held up to her eye. I look back.

"There is a large difference, between the two?"
"Yes, but both always exist, side by side."

I am quiet for a moment.

Tomo had spent the last night with my friend Will. But she has a boyfriend, and he a girlfriend.

"So do you love your boyfriend?"
"Yes of course."
"Hon ne?"
"Ta tae mi"
"So.. what is the hon ne?"
She smiles.


--


Shibuya, Tokyo Christmas eve. Drunk and stumbling from bottle of barley shochu and whiskey mixed haphazardly in the street. With some of the best people in the world to be with in Tokyo on Chistmas.

The streets are packed, like a stadium emptying over and over.

The cold air is clawing through my shirt, but the alcohol lets it register only as a soft tingle on my skin. I smile, or something approximate.

In the distance i can hear motercycles as my hair is blown in the opposite direction..

Then in front of me, 25 bikes at least, saddled by 25 people at least, all wearing Santa outfits.

For a minute, I am with all of the best people in the world to be with in Tokyo, on Christmas.

They pull away, the wind blows my hair the other way. But goddamnit,

I still cant feel the cold.