"ya james"
".. ."
"ya james" (everyone at the hotel calls me james, for reasons still unclear)
".. unnhh. ."
"ya james."
"wh.. what? wwhy?"
"ya james!"
".. its eleven o clock in the morning Sameh! please .. go away!"
"ya james someone here. za ethiopian girlie."
"the wh.. oh. fuck. hold on."


--


k. now he's pissed.

a:"democracy!!? this is bullshit. look at your country?! democracy? it doesn't exist anywhere. look at britain. in britain, one million people march on the street to oppose the war in ira-q (he says this with an emphatic, popping arabic 'q', leaning into his words, seething) and this does nothing! democracy is a myth. your country does have more freedom, for the time being at least, and this is so good, but in terms of political power: your country is like my country - you have no power. YOUR COUNTRY IS LIKE MY COUNTRY. here, we have a president who will install his son - and there is nothing we can do about it. same in your country - i mean look at this man - he is a failed businessman and he deserts your army and the only thing he has good for him is that his father was once president! i have met americans with those. . old. . thick.. hairs.."

he seperates his thumb and forefinger one inch as if to 'crush my head', and then points to his hair

c:" . .dreadlocks?"

a:"yes, those, who are smarter than he is. your president's father installed him, just like mubarak will install his son gamel. it is the same. our countries are the same - its just that your country is better at keeping your people under control without violence. i mean, look at how easily your country believed your president about iraq - and now how many iraqi women and children are dead - how many have been broken by your incredible weapons? far more than september 11th. do you know this?"

c:"yes, AP put out an estimate that exceeded 4000 dead civilians after half the total count. we know this. well, i know this, i dont know how many times that number makes it to network TV, i dont know how many other americans know this. but, to be fair - saddam killed many, many more than the US troops did."

a:"well we see the dead people (its true. the news here is not afraid to show you what cluster bombs will do to kids. just like in the UK's newspapers, sometimes there is a lot of red ink). and how many of your own 20 year old men are going to die now? and why should they have to die? and do you think this war will end? do you know how crazy the people who are now heading to iraq to fight the next big jihad are, what they will do to your soldiers? these people are animals! these people are animals - thousands of egyptians went to afghanistan to fight the jihad and the war made them crazy - war does that you know, it creates terrorists - war is horrible. war makes terrorists, and government torture chambers here in egypt too. when the government, the mukhabarat (secret police) strap a peaceful, religious man to a wet mattress for one hour and then put the electric shocks on him, he becomes a terrorist.

i mean look at iraq, you are just asking for jihadi training camps. its like afghanistan and the soviets, again"

c: "its like afghanistan, and the soviets.. except .. its not. the first war in afghanistan, in 2001, was like the soviet war in afghanistan, and we won, easily. things are changing no-

a:"yes, things are changing in afghanistan. opium production is back up, after having been stopped completely by the taliban. and the taliban is rising again because your brilliant president just bombed it and went to iraq. he abandoned them! what do you think is going to happen?! the world is not a god damned playstation, you americans! you cannot just shoot the lasers at bad people, and they go away, game is over!"

c:"motherf- look - i seem to recall women being shot in soccer stadiums for adultry. that isnt happening anymore. there is a more stable -"

a:"stable? the country is about to slip into civil war again!? this is how the taliban took power in the 1st place. and how many women got shot in stadiums versus how many were killed in the war and how many are going to die in the violence there"

c: "mufucker, thats not the question, unfortunately. if it were that easy, and governments were that just , that would be the question - but the world is a lot uglier than that. governments are just only to their constituency, and then only sometimes. in this case, the US government went to war in the name of protecting its own people, and unfairly destroyed other people in the process, thousands of innocents.

now, however misguided this idea is, the US government believes that it may have saved thousands of American lives from terrorist attacks by these two wars.

is called a fact of life - this is what governments do. now i believe that our government actually made the world much more dangerous for americans and multiplied anti-american 'terrorists' by the thousands but -"

a:"dead chldren yanni - they dont understand these things, do they? and why should they?."


--


she played with the tassles in her hejab. it was black, fine cotton, with an intricate pattern. it went well her and her deep brown complexion.

eg: "we need to talk now."
c: "well, you woke me up after 4 hours of sleep - you know what time i left - demanded my attention and now we are sitting in a coffee shop alone. talk."
eg: "ok, dont freak out. i need a really big favor."
c: "telling me not to freak out ain't helping me not freak out so much. what?"
eg: "..nothing.."
c: "jes-"
eg: "lets get married."
c: "OH FUCK"
eg: "see, see, i told you you would freak out and now you are freaking out, i tol-"
c: "no."
eg: "just listen, just listen."
c: "no."
eg: "just listen, just listen, i need to leave this country. i hate this place, i have a plan. we don't need to get married for real, just signed paper-"
c: "ok, you want me, a dual US/Turkish citizen to marry you, an Ethiopian resident in Egypt with 4 years in Saudi Arabia on your passport. as much as i dont want to marry you, it is impossible. impossible for you to get into the US right now anyways."
eg: "look, ok, its not that big a deal. i hate my parents, i hate this place! i want to come to America. i'll join the military, they will pay for my education and ill be alright."
c: "hon, i know you hate your parents, but joining the US military right now would probably be a little worse. and this is a little more than a favor. you cant just get married in - its not that easy, they would be watching me for years, if you even got in. we'd have to live together for 2 years."
eg: "its not that hard, we could just share an apartment. we-"
c: "i've known you for 2 weeks. pointless. an-"
eg: "look, its not impossible."
c: "no."
eg: "just listen, just listen, i ..i. . fucking hate it here. i want to live in america - i mean, everyone does"


--


"By the end of the 1990s [after the imprisonment of nearly all major opposition leaders, the crushing of most opposition newspapers and parties by the Egyptian Government, which is the second largest recipient of USAID money in the world, after Isreal] it became apparent that Egypt's political system lacked the flexibility and imagination to compete on democratic turf with its main political opposition, the moderate Islamists. Instead, it fell back on coercion and authoritarianism [including increased use of torture and long-term incarceration of the unconvicted]. In doing so, it starkly revealed that Egypt's fundamental problem is not terrorism but a lack of democracy and respect for lawful institutions. Like the generals who canceled Algeria's 1992 election to stop an Islamist movement from winning the elections, the Egyptian government continues to tell all opposition: even if you could win an election, we will never allow you to be on the ballot.

This stance begs the question to most Egyptians: If this is how secular, Western modeled governments dispense justice and hold elections - why not give the Islamists and their ideas a whirl? Is it any wonder why many Muslims view secularism and Western - style constitutions with reservations?"


--


"haha, fucking americans."
shareef didnt see me sitting between the german guy and the french girls.
"haha, another one blown up."
the cover of the state sponsored arabic daily had an exploding US helicopter on the front.
the french girls shake their heads, brown hair swinging.


--


ashraff: "my favorite political thinkers would be castro, and bin laden. they support the poor people."
cem: "they.. what?"
he is wearing a nike t-shirt.
fake, of course.


--


two hours later im playing chess with the big german.

the german is clever, he has taken my knights, both of them, trading them for his bishops, reflecting the fact that he recognizes their tactical advantage in the defense he has set up. its a minor advantage. but he takes it, because he is a german. and germans are machines.

he reports to me that the direct german translation for the "knight" piece is "springer".
"ya, ees a shpring-ger."
he makes a springing motion with his fingers.
"shpring-ger!"

the bishop, the bishop he calls a "sprinter"

shareef walks in.


s: "americans always lose!"

i look up.

s:"you cant beat a german, germans and japanese are machines! and you are a stupid american!
can you even find america on this map?? i heard most americans cant find it on a map!"

i know hes kidding and i know hes also not kidding.

s:"U-S-A!!U-S-A!!U-S-A!!"

i recall post 9-11 crowds waving flags, USA/flag doggie sweaters. i become angry. only i can make fun of my own people.

c: "maybe when you egyptians learn its not always about winning you'll be able to stop pretending you are badass rich motherfuckers and you can buy some real designer clothing instead of that fake Armani shit they sell on the street. until then,keep on accepting all the USAID money, which comes from me and my friends' taxes. if you didnt have our money, you people would be eating eachothers' fucking babies."

shareef looks at me, then at the german.

s: "stupid americans."


--


2001, Washington DC. Office of Middle East Insight magazine. Interview for Assistant Editor.

BJF: "WASHINGTON DC... yes, DC - an interesting place to work. Do not believe anyone - noone can be trusted -"
he blinks several times, quickly
BJF: " -here in WASHINGTON: KNOWLEDGE.."
he nods
BJF: "Knowledge, information is the COIN of the REALM- do not reveal anything - to anyone- about anything"

his name is Jon Kessle r. He is a leading operative (Political Leadership Director) for the American Isreali People's American Congress - the Isreali lobby, one of the most powerful in DC (many would say the most powerful - their headquarters is as big as many embassies). He rose to noteriety after publishing a guidebook in the early 1980s for college students. It was a how-to book. In it were questions to ask and proper responses when Palestinian speakers came to campus to speak. The guidebook was deeply controversial because it allegedly amounted to harassment the speaker and endorsed disruption of the event. Whatever the case, Jon was 6 and a half feet of Jewish stereotype - incredibly intelligent, funny, rude, anal retentive, and conspiritorial. I instantly loved him and hated him.

MEI was difficult to explain. He was working side-by-side with a Syrian. Like most Syrians and Isrealis, they hated eachother. Rumors as to the real purpose of the magazine abounded.

BJF: "I know you want to work here. And I know you think you understand this region. I know that you think you have some idea of what is going on here. But I know something you don't know. I have been studying this region for over 20 years - I have met with heads of state, I have met with terrorists. I charge $700.00 an hour for consultation. The most important thing I know about this region is - the more I know, the more I don't know. Cem, you don't know a damn thing. Trust me. None of us understand this."

Big Jewish Frankenstein had spoken.


--


sweet tea with mint. chewing on lamb with okra stew. lambs prepared for the Eid slaughter stumble by outside, painted asses.

im in a restuarant near the arabic school. music videos on. Nelly is on. then the "RIGHT THURRR" song comes on. i bob my head, puff sheesha. a cute young couple sits by wtching. its 2 american videos for every arab one.

a waiter comes in - says something excitedly and switches to the news.

"HAHA!" he claps.

another helicopter had been taken out near baghdad.



Cem, you don't know a damn thing. Trust me. None of us understand this.