Holy - fuck.
Holy - military intelligence.
Holy - following me.
.
.

. ..

In highschool, a graying black man in a wheelchair whose name I can't remember but whose affect was pretty much Ice-T meets heater/airconditioner repairman sat in front of all 1400 of us Falls Church High-schoolers in our darkened auditorium. He told us how heroin ruined his life, and led him to the tragic convenience store scenario - the kind we've all seen on daytime TV - which left him paralyzed from the waist down.

I remember hearing this and imagining the guant, tired looking Vietnamese clerk from the 7-11 down my street - the one who knowingly let us steal cigarettes - suddenly changing his mind about letting us walk out with packs of Camels and getting violent with me. Perhaps having just made assistant manager, and he was taking action on behalf of his now beloved company. Or perhaps he was no longer so tired from having to work 3 jobs because he finally discovered methamphetamine. Either way, I could see him pulling out an old sawwed-off black shotgun, shrieking, and blowing our heads clear off at the neck, bits of my brain and scalp rolling on the 7-11 hot-dog rollers, my oversize clothes clad body crumpling against the rack that held "People" and "Low Rider". The vision was a sudden and clear message to me: no more fucking around at the 7-11 anymore.

But what I remember most about this "Just Say No!" event is his description of the feeling brought on by his first mainline injection of heroin. There was distance in his eyes, and he spoke as if he was describing some far-away cliffside view, where he encountered a group of aliens, aliens made of pure light, who were sitting with Jesus.

Ice-H/AC:"I mean, it.. it. . was.. like.. better than sex. Better.. It .. it was amazing. You cant imagine.. . it - its like, like.. ."
Cem:". .better .. thansss?. ..like. lii. ..l. .."

Everything after that was lost on me. I was getting some god-damned heroin, hasta fucking pronto. So WHAT if Kate Galdo is thinks I'm pale and hairy - I gots the H! - and wheelchair guy said - -

-said.
-

I don't know which of the underpaid, bottom-fifth public highschool administrators bore the genius idea of bringing this man to tell 700 hormone-crazy MTV-saturated teenage boys that one of the most destructive and addictive drugs known to science was better than what they spent 90 percent of their time wishing for but -

but-
.
.

.. .

24 days in a completely closed and desperately poor country ruled by a military dictatorship and men in skirts'll do something to you. The government controls all information, you cannot talk freely, the state controlled newsapers do nothing but herald the ruling Party/Junta and chart their daily movement across the country for some of the most inane events I have ever heard of:

"Secretary Four, General Aung ShweShwe Visits Auspicious Opening of Shwe-ShweShwe Dam Turbine Polishing Unit #5"
-typical headline


This kind of environment will give you a powerful, powerful thirst for absolutely shitty baseline American pop culture. The kind that will numb you, and take you somewhere where Blink182 plays in the background, and .. and .. and you love it.

Just getting back from Myanmar, I watched "Bubble Boy" on Ted Turner's Singapore based "Star TV" network last night with my friends Beverly and Pitong. It was abjectly Hollywood. It was offensive to everyone - Jews, fat people, and terminally ill alike, so - it was amazing. I forgot about the fact that the monks who helped me get interviews could be in huge trouble - for helping me. I forgot about the comedians I had met who did 7 years of hard labor in the freezing Kachin hills for making jokes about the government. As I lay there on the bed in the tourist hotel and felt the warmth from the TV pouring into my veins, pulsing through me - everything was good. Everything was normal again.

Bubble Boy gets hit by a bus! Hes Ok 'cos hes like, in a bubble!
Fabio is the leader of a cult!! Awesome!!
Bubble boy's devoutly Christian parents are involved in a menage-a-trois with a Mexican biker!! Hot!

I was becoming numb. and.. full of.. happy. .

Cem: "Sssoooo.. g.. goood.. ."
Beverly(A clever American): "Huh?"
Pitong(A clever Indonesian):"Jeem - are ju wanting a cheep?"
Cem: "Nnn .. . nnn .. nah.."
Pitong: "Jeem - cheep? Buffalo skin not pork-skin. Halal!"
Cem: "Nnnn.."

Hollywood flooded my brain. The Military Intelligence guys with their stupid fucking Chinese fake Rolexes and big rings weren't around. I could trust everyone I was talking with. I didn't have to make up and maintain a false identity. Everything was.. easy.. again . .

it wasnt better than sex but

I'm pretty sure
it was a lot like heroin.

..

Myanmar is the worlds second largest producer of heroin and methamphetamines.

..

When you wonder why people in such bad situations tend to be so damn happy and so fond of humor, you have to remember how powerful humor is. When you wonder why the things that spread though the developing world as fast as TB are "baseline American culture", prostitution and drug addiction you have to remember that these are the things that ..

that
that

to be continued. very.